My Bitter(s) Quest
My love of bourbon accessories is well documented. So when I stumbled across bitters bottles (yes, that’s a thing) and fell in love with them (of course I did), I knew two things: 1) I was going to buy them and 2) I was going to make homemade bitters. Don’t try to follow the ins and outs of my mind because, really, in hindsight even I find this uber nonlinear.
I started researching all of the different bitters bottles and the various price points. After more time than I will ever admit to anyone other than my mother, I landed on a set of four. And, like any 6-year-old on Christmas Eve, I was hyper for them to arrive. I checked my mailbox daily for their arrival. But I’m an adult AND I have Amazon Prime, so I knew when they would be delivered. Don’t. Judge. Me.
While waiting for my delightful bitters bottles to arrive, because of course the set I purchased weren’t Prime eligible I started thinking about different flavors I should make. I researched recipes. Looked for books on bitters – surprisingly, my local library doesn’t have any - at all. So of course I purchased one. The recipes are great, but I wanted something different. I have always been ambitious with my projects. Why should this one be any different. With a blank canvas to work with, I did a random poll to determine my first batch. I landed on 3 flavors:
Pink grapefruit, white peppercorns and cardamom seeds
Orange cranberry – an ode to my sister
Orange ginger
Two days before the bottles are set to arrive, I decided to purchase the ingredients. Well the bittering agent, gentian root, was NO WHERE TO BE FOUND, locally, at least. I thought toilet paper was in short supply, not bittering agents. So I go back to the internet, because at this point I am woman on a mission with these bitters. I am envisioning all of the lovely cocktails I’ll be enjoying with my bitters. So off I go, back to the internet. I want to support small, independent farmers; but their prices are 4 times as much as the behemoth, Amazon. I go with Amazon. Long story short, it takes me two weeks to assemble all the ingredients.
“My patience for this project is starting to wane.
My bottles arrive and I’m reinvigorated.”
And then I open the box and they are bleh. They photograph far better than the actual bottles. And one is broken. Unbelievable. I’ve purchased the ingredients and they are in transit, but I need to return these bottles and find new ones. At this point I’m not even sure if I like bitters! I also had the epiphany that if I really just liked the bottles, I could have purchased some bitters and transferred them in one of the bottles. Hindsight and all that.
So here we are 5 weeks and 3 days after I assembled the batch and I don’t have the inclination to try any of them. I need to focus on something else - like trying to make shrubs. Don’t Judge. Me.
Cheers… or not,
~Kimberly Elise
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